We've asked a panel of highly qualified professionals to carefully evaluate each situation card, and rank them on our Misery Index, which runs from 1 to 100. The panel included marriage counsellors, therapists, career counsellors and social workers; collectively representing over 150 years of clinical psychiatric experience.
To play, first shuffle the deck, deal three cards and place them in numerical order of their Misery Indexes. The remaining cards will be used as your draw pile (aka, your big pile of shit). Pluck a card from the top of the pile, and try to guess where it fits within the index. Is a 3rd-degree sunburn BETTER or WORSE than seeing your father naked? Is it WORSE than dropping your phone in the toilet? You don't have to guess the exact index number (which would be, like, impossible). Instead, all you have to do is guess its proper place within the index. If you guess correctly, you win the card. If not, it passes to the next player to guess. The first person to accumulate 10 cards wins!